Recharging

We're leaving Canmore this morning after a 2 night getaway with my mom for the Family Day long weekend. In about an hour we'll have the van packed, make a Timmy's stop for coffee and breakfast, and be home before lunch so my mom and I can return to work. Ava has a week off from school, so the holiday mode will continue for her while regular life resumes for the rest of the family (William is off preschool too, but at 2 mornings a week for 2 hours at a time, it's hard to count that). I am a creature of routine, so the idea of returning to regular life is not bothersome to me, but I realized again this weekend how hard it is for me to give myself permission to relax and recharge, and how necessary it is.

I brought my writing binder with the idea that in these 2 days away I was going to finish my article on the 10 things I want my kids to know, my screenplay which is ready for it's newest draft based on feedback from my friend in the film industry, a book which one of my students wrote that I want to read for her, and about a million other things I hoped to accomplish during the get-away. Somewhere along the line while packing I forgot that we were going away for Valentine's and Family Day. When you have a 6 year old and a 3 year old with you, there is very little free time. They are always clamoring for the pool and hot tub, or to play pool, or go for an adventure somewhere. I slept badly the first night, usually do when I'm away, so yesterday when William had a 2 hour nap I planned to write. I ended up sleeping instead. I told myself that I would lay down for 30 minutes and still have most of his nap time to write before we went into Canmore to putter around and eat dinner (which ended up being an adventure in itself as family dining is scarce in Canmore and when we ended up in Banff at Phil's it was closed, causing van-wide devastation). I'm sure you could write the rest of this paragraph because once I laid down, I dozed on and off for the whole 2 hours and it felt fantastic, after I talked myself through the guilt that I was wasting time.

I like my hard-charging, ambitious personality. For the most part. Without it, I would get very little accomplished. But the downside is that very often I'm missing life as it is happening around me. I'm not stopping to look around, feel what I feel, and experience the moment that I'm standing in. I recharge my cell phone without thinking about it, giving it a nice, long break to be plugged in and silent. I must do the same for myself. I need continual reminders that if I don't get it done today, I've got tomorrow and the next day. Taking care of my health and my family is my top priority; adding to my own list of accomplishments falls further down the list. It's a delicate balance that must be maintained. Without regular breaks to play and enjoy life, I won't actually enjoy the fruits of my labours.

When I am on vacation, I want to use my free time to the fullest to get the most done, but the get-aways that I remember with the most fondness are the ones where I rested and soaked up my leisure time, as a battery stores energy, for the challenges ahead. Life is short. We have today to enjoy, to absorb, and to make memories that will warm us whenever we choose to recall them.