Mother Bear

When I picked Ava up from school yesterday, she had a raised, red welt on her chin that looked like bad rugburn. When the van door opened and I saw it, I asked what had happened. She climbed up into her seat, dumping her backpack and ski pants on the floor, and told me she fell on the ice at snack recess. I asked her for a few more details, and immediately noticed the tell-tale signs that she was upset but trying to hide it - the trembling chin, lips pursed, eyes wide. She said, "At morning announcements they said we all had to share forts. We weren't supposed to keep people out. At snack recess I tried to go into one and this boy in grade 5 pushed me out and I fell on the ice." I reached out my hand to grab hers and the floodgates opened, releasing pent up tears that my 6 year old girl had kept inside all day, but I knew they were waiting right under the surface to be freed.

She cried, and I held her hand and told her it was okay. We both ignored William's request to get moving. When the tears were finished, we talked some more about what happened. Ava went to the supervisor right away, with a group of her friends around her asking if she was okay, and the supervisor suggested she go to the office for an ice pack. She did this, with a friend, and the principal came over to find out what had occurred. Ava told the story again, the grade 5 boy was brought inside to apologize, and Ava went back to her class. I told my daughter how proud I was of her for going to the supervisor and being brave enough to ask for help (a lesson I could learn from her). We can't always manage things on our own and need to admit that, to ourselves and others, and allow for reconciliation when someone has hurt us.

I told her all of these things, and I believed them, but I also had to fight down an overwhelming urge to find this boy and head over to his house with a golf club. How dare some kid who is 4 years older push my little girl, scaring and hurting her? The mother bear instinct that lives inside of all mothers is a fierce thing. It needs very little provocation to start an attack when our young is threatened. I know that Ava will have to deal with this kind of thing many times over in childhood, and again in adulthood, and I know it is my job to help her develop skills to manage such situations, but if that grade 5 boy had been standing in front of me yesterday afternoon, there would have been big trouble.

I called the school when I got home and talked to the principal, commending her on the job that was done by the school to ensure Ava's safety and urge the boy to apologize. The principal would've called me if I hadn't called her, and she was so complimentary about how Ava handled herself throughout, and assured me that the boy was very sorry and the ice made the whole situation worse. She said that the boy wrote a letter to his parents explaining the incident, and stayed in the office from snack recess until the closing ceremonies for the Reading Olympics as part of his discipline. Of course, I was glad to hear that bullying in any form is taken seriously, and it could've been my kid in the discipline position instead of the victim spot, so compassion is required on all sides. I was proud of the school and proud of Ava, but reminded again of how deep the instinct runs to protect our sweet children.

On an unrelated note, we thoroughly enjoyed the opening ceremonies for the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics last night. It seems marginally ridiculous to spend $40 million on one big show when there are people starving in the world, but compared to the $300 million spent in Beijing, it's a drop in the bucket. I thought the show captured the essence of Canada. I loved Donald Sutherland's voice-overs, the poem about what it means to be Canadian, and the virtual floor breaking into ice and then water were the highlights for me. It's a shame the door malfunctioned for the 4th arm to rise to light the cauldron, because otherwise the event was flawless, and I know if it was my job to oversee it, I would obsess about the mistake instead of celebrating the many successes. I think we managed to impress the world. It's exciting that the eyes of the world are focused on our beautiful country, and particularly on Vancouver. After living in Langley for 13 years, I feel connected to these Olympic games in a special way. It is a wonderful thing to be a Canadian. Go Canada Go....