Keeping up with the Jones's

Envy is a big problem in our society. Advertisers work hard to make sure we buy their products by making us feel bad if we don't have something. The slogan, "He who has the most toys wins" is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Wins what? You will never have the most because someone else will always have more. It is a daily fight to stand against the attitude that our worth is tied into our possessions. We are not what we own. The two things are removed from each other. Our value lies in owning our own personality, being fully present in our lives, and the lasting investments are the ones we make in others. Money comes and goes. We have all been prosperous at periods in our lives, and then overspent and felt broke. It happens to everyone, but what can never be taken away is ourselves and our relationships.

Keeping up with the Jones's is a dangerous proposition. Not only is it impossible to compete with people who have more money than we do, it also demeans what we do possess because we think so little of it that we become dissatisfied. It's important to stop comparing ourselves to others. We need confidence in ourselves to enjoy where we live, what we drive, what we wear and what we can afford for entertainment. It starts early as our kids will ask why someone has nicer toys, goes to Hawaii every year or wears designer clothes. Our attitude is important here, because if we grumble to our kids about what others have it sends a message that we are lacking in our lives, and allows for jealousy to grow in them. I tell my kids that it's all about choices. Everyone chooses what to spend their money on. When they are adults they will have to choose as well, and they will be happier if they choose based on what they want and need rather than to compete with someone else. Competition with money breeds misery, debt and envy. I tell them to enjoy what we have, and that if everything we owned disappeared tomorrow, would we still be happy? Have we been investing in the right places or the wrong ones?

The more we own, the more complicated our lives become. We have some big expenses on the horizon with dental work, a new vehicle if the van continues to act up, and some home repairs that could become more urgent. I always panic and get stressed over these things, because it means less money to go around for the fun things, and I have to re-adjust my priorities and remind myself that my life is not the sum of my possessions. My relationships are what counts, and I don't need money to feel connected to people. I hate that money is divisive, but we allow it to divide us. The key is to learn contentment in all circumstances and seasons of life, when things are good or bad, when we feel flush or broke, when we are energetic or tired. Ignore the media's messages that we need the latest outfit, car or RV. Look at what you have been blessed with, and be grateful for what you have. Hold loosely, for nothing is guaranteed to us. If we are willing to have it slip through our fingers, our possessions can never own us.