Tuesday, August 17, 2010


We all see everything through our own lens. When we have a conversation, we hear what we understand through our personal filter, and the other person completes the same process for themselves. Often the two don’t match up. There is always so much subtext going on in any conversation, and women tend to be more attuned to the subtleties of communication than men.

I often wish I could communicate like a man. I would prefer to be more direct and clear in everything I say, and hear, instead of reading into what lies beneath the words, and often misinterpreting what I find under the surface. So much of our communication has nothing to do with the actual words, but involves the face and the voice and the entire body.

I would like a scientist to invent an honesty pill. Just a small, vitamin-sized capsule that people could take so they would be more in tune with what they are really feeling at any given time. Not like in Liar, Liar where you have to be blatantly rude in the way you communicate, but some people are deeply disconnected with their true emotions, and tend to live life on a level that isn’t honest, and I find those people very challenging to communicate with.

I have to remember that I have many blind spots, and I’m not even certain of what they are, because they are called ‘blind’ for a reason. I love being on this journey of knowing myself better with every passing year, but I have to remember that I still have a long way to go. I’m working on not reading so much into what people say and do, and this is still a very hard thing for me to master.

Believing the best of people might come easier to an optimist, but my pessimistic nature tends to jump to the conclusion that people are being jerks, when maybe they just aren’t able to be honest with themselves or others. I know I have to adjust my perspective sometimes to allow for this. Sometimes personal growth isn’t as important to others as it is to me. Some people would prefer not to look too deeply inside of themselves, and I have to hold off on passing judgement because of this. Not everyone values the same things, and if I don’t want to be judged, I must be careful not to judge others.

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