Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Ocean

Every time I go to any ocean, I’m reminded of how small my place is on this earth. I don’t feel insignificant, because each person has intrinsic value and we are all significant to each other, but when I look out and I cannot see the end of the water, I realize anew how huge this world is, and how much there is for me to still discover.

We went to White Rock beach this week. The Lower Mainland is experiencing a heat wave, not my favourite thing when it comes to sleeping in a second storey bedroom while drenched in my own sweat, but great for an afternoon and early evening spent at the beach. We waded in the cool water, enjoyed the feeling of the smooth sand between our toes, built sand castles, collected shells and soaked up the sun.

For a few minutes the kids went for a short walk with Nana, and I soaked up the sights and sounds on my own; a form of sensual luxury for any mom. I heard the water, gently lapping up to the shore as the tide moved in, punctuated by the happy screams of babies and children. I smelled the salty brine of the air, and felt the mist from the water on my skin when the wind picked up. I watched the seagulls, soaring in the air and coming to land along the rocky beach, calling to each other and scavenging for leftover chips or bread.

I sat and felt perfectly at peace. The ocean is good for the soul. It reminds me that I have as many limitless possibilities for my life as the view offers me at the edge of the water. I can go anywhere, be anything, do whatever I would like to do. Everyone can. We are only limited by what we choose to allow to stop us. I want to get out of my own way and believe that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I’m tired of being stopped by issues that I could easily remove, if only I had the willpower or the confidence.

I’m going to work towards keeping the ocean in my mental sight as I pursue my dream to write professionally. It exists in this world to bring perspective to who we are and what we see in front of us. It offers proof that nature is always at work, with its ebbs and flows, and that nothing ever stays the same. Change is inevitable, and there is no sense fearing what is coming at us all of the time. The rocks and the setbacks are not the problem, as the tide keeps coming at them, moving them and changing their shape over time.

Sometimes I worry about the smallest things, letting them drag me down when I could be attempting to take a higher road. I plan to remember how I felt sitting in my lawn chair at the beach, looking out at the water and the horizon, so far away, and yet close enough to reach out and touch. All dreams are like that: beautiful, inspiring, a million miles away but getting closer every day if we walk toward them and don’t allow any obstacles to halt us on our path.

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