Recently I read in Entertainment Weekly that Heidi Klum and Seal are renewing their wedding vows for the sixth time this year, and Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott got married in 2006, and they feel compelled to re-do their vows in 2010. If I've ever heard of anything more ridiculous, I can't think of it at this exact moment. It's as if celebrities, so afraid that their marriage will collapse, are trying to ward off disaster by renewing their commitment annually.
What happened to making a vow and keeping it until death do you part? It's becoming an antiquated notion in our fast-paced culture where we are always moving on to the next new thing. Temporary marriage seems to be the norm now, and it's one of the saddest things I've ever seen. What do our kids learn from this idea that our word means nothing; that promises made at our wedding only hold for so long?
I have been so inspired by our hosts at this B&B we have stayed at this weekend. They have been married for thirty-some years, and are as companionable and happy as two people can be. They each have their lists for meals to prepare and chores to do to keep the bed and breakfast running, and they move in and around each other, talking, laughing, joking and teasing each other. He never missed an opportunity to compliment her on something she did well, and she encouraged him to take care of himself and offered to take on some of his duties for him when he was tired. The genuine regard they held for each other, while still doing some of the usual good-natured sniping that comes up in all marriages, was such a pleasure to watch.
The rapport between them offers me something to strive for in my own marriage. I think we need to have role models to follow, and I found some in these kind and loving people who have hosted us with tender care this weekend. Their attention to detail and loving care for their guests has added so much joy to this weekend retreat, and offered me many warm memories to take home.
I'm sad to be leaving this peaceful place today, but looking forward to returning to my husband, kids and friends with a renewed perspective on how wonderful my life really is. How many blessings are all around me each day. I want to cut through the frustrations to reach the joys more regularly. This weekend away has been exactly what I needed. I have written twenty pages in my memoir, gassed away into the small hours with girlfriends, and consumed about 75 pounds worth of high quality nourishment. I feel relaxed, happy and hopeful for what the future will bring.