Sunday, May 16, 2010

Soul-Stirring Beauty

If we are open to beauty, we will see it all around us. So often I'm rushing through my days trying to accomplish things, and I miss the moments that are the most meaningful and stirring. Yesterday I experienced a day full of such beauty, and it moved me in ways that will be difficult to describe, because things that are profound often lose something in the telling.

We enjoyed a relaxed Saturday morning at home, puttering about and not being in a rush, while the sunshine streamed in through every window of the house. Puttering is good for my soul. Lingering over breakfast with my book, laundry, exercise, tidying toys, laughing and conversing with the kids about everything and nothing all at once.

After lunch our babysitters came and my kids were so excited to be outside on the trampoline with two of the sweetest teen girls on the planet. I took my writing binder, my screenplay and my copy of Writer's Market and went to the library for two hours of peaceful solitude, my pen scratching at the paper, and joy settling around me like a blanket.

My main goal was to draft my query letter. I've picked an agent to submit my query to, and I really wanted to knock it out of the park. I had a rough start, crumpling up several attempts at my log line (a one-sentence summary of the plot), and then, suddenly, getting it right.

I was on a roll, writing so fast my hand could barely keep up. Hands down, that is my favourite part of writing. You put up with the blank page, and the fear, and the intense panic that your work is terrible, just to get those moments where you feel like you are flying, and that anything is possible. Inspiration stirs the soul in ways that are deeply meaningful.

While I was writing that query letter, I felt the presence of God so clearly with me, in me, around me. I knew I was on the path I'm supposed to be on, at this moment in time, and that type of certainty is hard to find in this world. I breathed a prayer of gratitude for all that has come before to bring me to this place in life; this happy hope and unshakeable belief that I'm doing what I was born to do.

On the way home to get my kids, my favourite Celine Dion song, "Love You More", came on through the CD shuffler, and as I listened to her soaring voice and the stirring violin, I was moved again to tears. Goosebumps stood out on my arms and legs, and I made a new vow to notice more of these beautiful things that are all around me. Sounds, sensations, feelings, sights and tastes. I want to look around and experience more beauty in my life.

The crowning jewel was coming off the highway and cresting the plateau to turn toward our town. I never get tired of that gorgeous view. The fields in every direction, merging with the deep blue of the sky and the fluffy white of the clouds. It takes my breath away if I stop and take the time to actually look. Life is full of change. I recognize that anything can happen with Jason's job and we may not live here in this beautiful place forever. But we are here today, and I can open my eyes and my senses to how wonderful it is, and soak it up to store inside my soul forever.

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