Sunday, May 2, 2010


Why is it that when 95% of a day is positive, and 5% is negative, that the bad part takes over in your mind and your spirit and erodes all of the good parts? Everywhere we go we run into difficult people who complain, will not be pleased no matter how hard you work for them, and the ones who are grouchy and treat you rudely.

It's one thing to tell yourself, "Ignore them. No one could make them happy. Don't waste time trying. Focus on the kind people who are all around you." It's another thing to override your emotions with your mind. I have a fairly long fuse. I don't get mad quickly or easily, but when I do, it's like a red flag waved in a bull's face. I am instantly hot around the collar, and spoiling for a fight.

I'm not sure if this is a good quality or a negative one. I suppose the answer lies in how I behave when my emotions are raised to the surface in such a raw and instant way. The problem, of course, is that our emotions are not rational. Unless we can get our mind working properly, helping us sort through the feelings to arrive at a reasonable and helpful course of action, we simply blow our top and let the chips fall where they may.

This happened to me yesterday. I took some time to think about it, but I passed the point of no return when it came to my emotions. I was mad and I didn't want to pretend I wasn't. It was freeing in a way, causing a flurry of activity that had to be dealt with, but sometimes you just don't want to take something lying down.

After a good night's sleep, in the light of a new gorgeous spring morning, everything is better. I wonder if I needed to say what I said, but it's too late, and the words are out there and cannot be retrieved. Words are dangerous that way, for good or for evil. We all have motives driving us, propelling us forward in our words and our actions. We each have to live with what we do and say, every single day of our lives.

I'm thankful for friends. For people who walk alongside you and lift you up when you are discouraged. Our friends make our journey so much sweeter and easier; they help us focus on the positive when we are overwhelmed with the negative. Friends see us as we are, point out our strengths and gently walk us through our blind spots and weaknesses. I appreciate that about my friends. The honesty, the love, and the caring I receive from them. It brought tears to my eyes yesterday, and today my spirit is lighter, happier, and ready to move the 5% negative to the bottom of the pile and concentrate on the joy of the 95% that is positive.

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