How we Spend our Days

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." I came across this quote by Annie Dillard on a friend's Facebook page this week, and it stopped me in its beauty and simplicity. The best truths in life are straightforward and easy to understand, and this short quote fits that bill.

I like it because there is no room to hide with the usual excuses and fears we use to put off doing the things we need to do. At a certain point, you can't label yourself as doing something if you aren't actually doing it. I called myself a writer for many years but I wasn't regularly writing. I was spending my days doing other things, valuable and good things, but if it's true that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives, then I was spending my time in pursuits other than writing, so I wasn't turning out to be a writer.

I'm so incredibly relieved that those days of confusion and procrastination are behind me. It's still a challenge on some days to sit down and work on my screenplay, or carve out even fifteen minutes to start a story or an article, but most days I am doing it, because I know how frustrated I feel if I don't.

We are what we do. It's important to make this distinction so we aren't tempted to separate our behaviour from ourselves. If we are routinely rude to people but we call ourselves a kind person, we are not being honest. If we speak about the importance of kids and family but we constantly put other things ahead of our family and don't spend a lot of time with them, our actions and our words aren't lining up, and therefore not ringing true. We tell ourselves that others won't see these incongruencies; that we are hiding them from the world. It's simply not true. Most of us can tell when someone is not telling the truth. We use words like "blowhard" or "know-it-all" to describe them, or we say our "B.S. meter is dinging".

It's not an easy thing to look bravely at ourselves. We run the risk of seeing the many places where the cracks are in our lives. We all carry brokenness and pain inside of us, but unless we are honest about our behaviour and our thoughts/words lining up, we don't move forward in life at the rate we could if we would take a hard look at the areas we need to improve.

I find it easier to explore my blind spots in writing, so this blog has been helpful for me to find new ways to stretch and grow and be accountable for my own areas of weakness. If you aren't a writer, don't despair, because you will know when something is wrong. That's what our subconscious is for. Listen to it, for it will guide you if you will take the time to pay attention, and be willing to face what it shows you.