Saturday, March 6, 2010

A River Flowing

Our unconscious is a marvelous thing. Throughout this blogging experiment, I have learned to trust myself in ways I couldn't conceive of before. I'm a planner, down to the last detail, and don't like to leave things to chance (a by-product of my childhood with too many ups and downs that were out of my control). When I began this blog, I had a list of ideas that I could write about, as I couldn't imagine sitting down at the computer in the morning and not knowing what I was going to say. As the experiment has progressed, I've been leaving it up to chance a bit more, and the freedom has been teaching me a lesson all its own.

If we listen to ourselves, pay closer attention, there is so much to hear. Our minds, conscious and unconscious, are packed to the brim with feelings, memories, experiences and ideas. I'm guessing its always been this way, like a river flowing, and I've only just figured out how to tap into it. I feel as though I'm dipping my tin mug in this cool, refreshing water, and drinking from it, and instead of the water level going down, it's actually increasing all of the time. Trusting my own writing process has been frightening and rewarding in equal measure. Inspiration is everywhere - I just need to keep my eyes open to see it. Ideas and thoughts are brewing constantly under the surface of my busy life, but unless I take a deep breath and look inward, I miss them. In blogging daily I've made a commitment to look for these parts of myself that have been there all along, and my life is richer and more layered as a result of finding them buried somewhere inside.

We are back in Canmore this weekend, at our new timeshare, and Jason's mom, sister and baby nephew came from BC to join us for the weekend. It's so peaceful and relaxed, sipping my coffee and watching the sun glint off of the mountains. These short get-aways put the stresses of regular life into clearer perspective. It's good to have fun, to relax and not worry so much about my agenda of being productive and getting things accomplished. I think this timeshare is going to be very good for my hard-charging personality type. To be away makes me slow down, breathe a bit deeper, and enjoy my life. I feel grateful this morning for all that I have been blessed with: health, kids (even a daughter who wakes us all up at 4 am shouting, "My tooth fell out!"), a supportive spouse, fun-loving extended family, friends and creativity.

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