Monday, March 8, 2010

Brick by Brick

The Academy Awards did not disappoint, at least for me. We laughed with friends, became disgusted by some egos, got misty-eyed at the good speeches, and ate, drank and felt merry. Probably because I am firmly in a season of nurturing my creativity, I was deeply inspired by the many speeches encouraging people to be free to express themselves (one winner stated that "creativity is not a waste of time"). Learning to be confident in yourself, to understand on some unconscious level that you can do anything you set your mind to, is like getting the combination to a locked door that holds everything you've ever dreamed behind it. I'm drinking my coffee this morning from a mug that says, "Go confidently in the direction of your the life you've imagined." It's a shortened version of the Henry David Thoreau quote that I taped onto my headboard as a teenager. I've believed it for years; but now I know that it's true for me, not just true in general.

One of the winners talked about borrowing his family's video camera when he was nine years old and making movies. He said that his parents always told him he could do it, so he grew up believing it was normal to make movies. He recognized in his speech that other kids don't have that type of support, so he stated that anyone could do it. I took those words to heart. I've heard that type of speech many times before, but this time I realized that I really am on the road to my writing dreams, and I felt buoyant and happy instead of discouraged. It's a good thing to measure your successes instead of your failures. To keep building on what you are doing, one small brick at a time, until it is something you can really see and touch. We don't want to become discouraged by the slowness of the process. It takes the time it takes. When we are ready, growth blooms in our lives. When we aren't, we must be patient and wait, believing that the seeds will grow.

The silence in my house this morning is a sumptuous feast. It equals a tropical vacation in its ability to recharge and renew my soul. I'm so grateful for Jason's mom and sister looking after our kids last night and for some of today. I had planned to sleep in a bit but was up before 7, wanting to enjoy the morning to the fullest before heading back to Canmore to pick up the kids and bring them home for regular life to begin again in the morning. This beautiful hiatus to focus on my movie dreams is coming to an end, but it's by no means over. It's actually just getting started, and I will see it through, day by day, brick by brick, until I get to the Kodak Theatre on Oscar Night.

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