Personality Types

The Grade 1 classes went skating yesterday, and I went along to help tie and untie skates (a job I did last year for kindergarten and came away realizing I would rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my fingernails than do again, but when the teacher asked for parent help, I signed up again and realized I hated it just as much - I don't have fingers that work laces very well!). When the kids were on the ice, I stood to watch with Mr. Crankypants (AKA William), and was struck by the personality differences that could be observed by watching the kids.

Some kids, clearly hockey players, were zipping around the ice, skating circles around everyone else. But even in this group, there were kids showing off and kids just skating well, who were not above coming alongside their struggling friends and helping them along. Then there were girls who have had years of skating lessons, and the same rule applied as to the hockey players. Lastly there were the kids with no formal skating training, and the spectrum here was wide: kids clinging to the wall, on their knees on the ice, walking gingerly holding an adult's hand, walking on their own, and then those attempting to skate, falling, getting up and trying again.

As I watched I thought about all of the personality types out there in the world, and how often I am drawn to the personalities that I understand or admire (read: like mine). I gravitate to outgoing people who tend to take charge, because I understand what motivates those people. It's harder for me to relate to personality types I don't understand, which is likely why William and I butt heads as often as we do. Or perhaps, gasp!, what I react to in William (and others) are actually negative qualities I find in myself that I would prefer to ignore. William's pessimism and instantly negative attitude drive me to a blind rage, but if I'm honest and look deep inside, I see those same tendencies buried there. Over the years I've worked on those qualities, softening them and improving them, but I'm sure as a kid, when everything is raw and open like a festering wound, I would've had a similiar attitude to my small son.

I watched Ava on the ice, trying to skate, falling often, but getting up with a big smile on her face and I was inspired by her dogged stick-to-it-ness. I felt drawn to her personality, recognizing my good qualities in her attitude on the ice, but what will happen when William gets to kindergarten and goes skating with his class? He'll likely be the kid clinging to the wall, crying and saying he wants to get off the ice, begging his teacher that he hates skating and wants to be done. I need to develop new eyes to see the good and the bad in all personality types, not just the personalities I can relate to, and be more accepting of kids and people who are trying their best. We don't all have to be captains of the universe. There is room in the world for every personality, from the hesitant to the brave. One is not better than the other. What was most inspiring with the skating were the kids laughing and helping each other, not judging skills or abilities, just playing and enjoying the activity. I want to embrace that attitude and bring it into my adult life.