Long Shadows

My 3 year old son William said in the van yesterday, "I want to be Daddy when I grow up." I laughed and explained that he can be like Daddy, but he will be William, his own person, for his entire life. When I tucked the kids into bed last night and had a couple of hours of silence in the house, I began thinking about the long shadows we cast as parents on our children's lives. They look to us as the example they will model their adult lives after. It's easy in the bustle and flow of everyday life to miss this huge truth - my choices influence and affect their every choice. No pressure there.

The good news is that our example is cumulative over their lifetime. Every single day I will do something (and I'll be grateful if it's just one thing) negative that I don't want them to follow. I'll yell, "What are you doing, moron?!" in the car, I'll talk about someone behind their back, I'll say, "What is wrong with you?" when William gets frustrated and knocks over his sister's elaborate Polly Pocket village. It's inevitable, but I can continue to work on these mistakes, and hopefully, one day before I die, improve on the amount and the frequency of them.

Overall, I think my kids are doing well. They see us as parents in all of our strengths and weaknesses, and living honestly is one of the best ways I know to combat the nasty side of our human natures. At the very minimum, Jason and I work hard to live peacefully with each other. I don't want my kids going to sleep with a pillow over their heads to block out the yelling parent voices like I did. Peace and honesty are two of our best parenting methods. Time will tell if they are working or not.

A good friend's husband lost his job yesterday. I was shocked and sad for them, and called to find out how they are doing, as they have a number of sweet kids to support. The positive attitude both of them had was very inspiring to me. They reiterated that God is in control of their lives; it's so easy to say that when things are going well but when it really counts it means even more and they are clinging to it as their light to follow in a dark and uncertain time. Their kids are looking to them to see how to react when something scary happens to you, and the lesson they are learning from watching their parents will likely go deep and give the kids the skills they need to face uncertainty in their own lives. Good parenting inspires me to dig deeper and be more aware of the footprint I am leaving for my kids to step into.

We had a good day yesterday. After school we went to the library (8 people signed up for the creative writing course....2 more and it's FULL.....whoop whoop!) and then I took the kids to Boston Pizza for a fun dinner out, made even more fun by using the Christmas gift card from Uncle Dan & Auntie Kristen (thanks, guys!). I enjoyed just talking to the kids and felt their excitement about eating out on a Monday night, which is unusual indeed. And I slept all night with no concern for little noises, another wonderful thing. Thanks for reading, friends. I appreciate you.