It's good to eat a little crow once in a while. I always find it very hard on my ego, because I hate to have my bad behaviour pointed out to me in any way. After I fight with the brave person who tells me about it, I often go away to think, and discover that it would be beneficial for me to change in the area that has been highlighted to me. Nothing about this process is easy, but in the end it makes me a better person, and that's what it's all about.
I love that there are people in my life who will do this for me. Those who will gently correct me where I'm blind to myself and need an adjustment to my attitude or outlook. I want to treat people kindly, and be positive instead of negative, and give others the benefit of the doubt as much as possible. Just when I'm busy patting myself on the back about these things, it's pointed out to me where I've in fact done the opposite, and I have to apologize and do my best to repair the rift I have made.
The more I practice walking the high road, the easier it becomes to apologize for where I've hurt others. It's now becoming more of an automatic response. What is the point of clinging to my hope that I haven't been a jerk and trying to convince others of that? We all struggle with the darker aspects of our personalities, and when those ugly things rear their heads, I feel better accepting responsibility and saying I'm sorry.
A little genuine humility in human relationships goes a very long way; it softens the heart and clears the air between people. It allows you to breathe a little easier, and when the apology is received with grace and respect, the process of restoration works exactly as it is supposed to, and there is something deeply satisfying in the experience.
None of us is perfect. No one should expect perfection of ourselves or others. I expected that for many years, and fought to defend my idea of my own perfection instead of accepting that I may have been wrong, and could possibly learn from my mistake and become better in the future. I love the freedom of imperfection now. If I get on the wrong side of an issue, or react with negativity and gossip where I could've taken a better path, I can humble myself, apologize, and create a better dynamic in myself and therefore the world.
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