Sunday, July 25, 2010

12 Years

We've been married for twelve years today. It seems like so long ago that we got married, with layers upon layers of years and kids and life changes piled on top of the hopefulness we felt as two newlyweds on our wedding day. We were young and madly in love, with many vivid dreams for our future. Many of those dreams have come true and been better than our wildest imaginings, and many have yet to be realized.

We are still in love with each other. That is a gift beyond measure in this cynical world we live in. We still choose to spend time with each other. We laugh together, on a daily basis. We work on our relationship by investing in it, because we don't want to see it slip away when divorce is the option if we don't make our marriage a priority.

I love being married to my best friend. We are in Modesto today, celebrating together with one of my best buds from University, and her wonderful family who had me to stay many, many times when I was far from home and a lonely nineteen year old. We all have kids now, and our lives have changed from those carefree college days, but our friendship has not changed. I'm so grateful for these friends who carry a part of my history with them, and when we connect together, it's as if no time at all has passed.

Our flight was delayed by an hour yesterday out of Calgary, and my anxiety about flying began to grow as we waited. I pulled out my iPod and listened to calming music, and found that slowly I surrendered my need to worry about the safety of the aircraft, the possibility of turbulence and the desire to have it all over with and be safely on the ground in San Francisco. In my spirit, I said, "I surrender my fear, and trust that God is in control." It was as if a weight was lifted, and I began to tell myself that it was all going to be smooth and safe, and eagerly anticipate the arrival instead of dreading the travel.

The two and a half hour flight was straightforward and the skies were crystal clear, without a single cloud, so I could look out the window and see the ground for the entire trip. That was a great gift from God to me, another reminder that he knows I feel better when I can see land. I watched Valentine's Day, a relatively lame movie filled with gorgeous people and settings which distracted me nicely.

We had a memorable day in San Francisco with our friends, making spur-of-the-moment plans exactly like I wanted. It was great to laugh together and thoroughly relax into the joys of being away, with my husband, and with no one to worry about except for myself. I love my life. I have been blessed, and I am deeply grateful.

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