Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Fog Has Lifted

A thunderstorm rolled in while I was camping in Fairmont last week, and to distract William from his fear we watched the movie Tangled. We took the kids to see this film in the theatre and loved it, but watching it again, cozied up in my mom's motorhome in our pj's, I was struck by the song lyric, "At last I see the light, and it's like the fog has lifted." It seems to capture what the last few weeks have felt like to me.

Living in a fog is a deeply unsettling feeling. You can't see much, and you feel afraid, and you worry that life will always be that way. In the hardest times, I always find it difficult to remember that it wasn't always like that, and that one day things will be good again. It's just so hard to convince yourself, because until you see the light, you are stumbling around in the darkness.

Life is made up of seasons, and we don't get an invitation announcing when that season is going to change. The good never lasts, but neither does the bad, and one benefit of getting older is that the highs aren't quite so high, and the lows not as devastating as they used to be, because you know it's all coming again in another version at some point.

What happens to us is not nearly as important as how we interpret it, and our insight is only as good as our perspective. Seeing the light is different for each person and each circumstance we find ourselves in. These epiphanies come, and have the power to change our lives, if only we will allow them the freedom to do so. We can't control when our fogs roll in and when they lift, as there are so many factors at play, but we can be open to learn from each situation, and be flexible enough to change when we need to.

For now, I am enjoying this new season of clearer vision, and not fighting through a fog all of the time. My people-pleasing tendencies have been brought under some semblance of control, while still rearing up from time to time, but now I am more aware of what is going on during my decision-making process. The hard work of feeling the pain of letting people down seems to be behind me, and in that respect, I love the sensation of the sun on my face, and knowing that for now the fog has lifted.

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