Sunday, March 20, 2011

New Eyes

When we change, everything around us changes too. I'm noticing that I have new eyes to see the same old experiences in a different light when I apply some changes to how I do things. What was old now appears new. I feel more positive and less negative. It's as if I've set down that rock-filled backpack again and walked a few paces without it, and I like how much lighter I feel as a result.

Staying the same is an enemy for us. We are not meant to stagnate and be too comfortable. Life is filled with change, and if we change with it, we become flexible enough to adapt and grow. I like the experience of seeing people with new eyes now, for if I am different, my relationships become new too. Where I thought an experience was negative before, now that I have made changes inside of myself, I can look at it again and experience something better.

I like this transformation. The more confident I feel about myself, the more relaxed I am, and I see others relaxing around me. The personal stakes are not as high as they used to be. I don't feel so worried, or pressured to make things a certain way for my family and friends, but instead I can relax and enjoy myself. A curious thing happens as a result; everyone else is relaxed too. How much of what I used to think was uncomfortable subtext in the relationship was really me projecting my inner conflict into the situation?

I couldn't see this before, as I now realize that I have a crater-sized blind spot in my vision while I'm working on re-building my personal foundation. Just because I couldn't see it doesn't mean it wasn't there, but now I'm aware that I have had a huge part to play in many of the relationship dysfunctions that I have identified. I see now that I can be a more active participant in the positive changes which are happening. This realization brings peace and a sense of purpose in moving forward. I am different, and therefore I see everything differently, and experience my closest relationships in an easier way.

I'm enjoying these new eyes. They are connected to the new person that I am becoming, and the whole world looks different. Finally I am changing and instead of it hurting all of the time, I'm seeing some of the positive benefits of the shift that has been occurring. I can see beauty, nestled in among the ashes, and the seeds of growth which I've been waiting and watching for. New eyes for a new season. It's all lighter around the horizon.

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